Dante´s Laws of Survival
Posted on February 15, 2008 - Filed Under Kids |
1. Sleep soundly until Mama is ready to go to bed, then you MUST wake up and be ready to play all night.
2. If it looks too gross to eat, eat it anyway.
3. Hugs from big brother should be spurned at all costs, you never know when he might squash you into the floor. In fact, just to be sure, scream your head off anytime big brother looks at you.
4. Just because you fell one three times out the door doesn´t mean it will happen again. Keep trying.
5. If you see something just out of reach, it was really put there to challenge you. Obtain it at all costs.
6. When Mama says no, it means “try again when I´m not looking.” When Papa says no, it means “if you try again, I really won´t do anything.” Either way, try again.
7. Parents should not be allowed to sleep past 5 am. If you see them sleeping, wake them up by throwing your bottle at them and screeching. Banging the crib against the wall helps if they are being stubborn.
8. Vomiting twice a day is mandatory, preferably on someone, but if you can´t manage to get Mama or Papa, aim for Dorian´s toys.
9. Dorian cannot have food on his little table. This is against the law and must be punished by overturning the table and throwing said food on the floor.
10. Don´t leave tiny things like buttons or coins on the floor. The best method of disposal is to eat them.
Comments
Leave a Reply
