If You Give a Man a Shopping List . . .
Posted on April 11, 2008 - Filed Under Mom Stuff |
I have a lot to do today if I want to spend even half my birthday tomorrow without working, so Irving volunteered to do the shopping. The plan is to have a nice picnic in the ruins tomorrow, with chicken kiev and potato salad. But, giving a man a shopping list is somewhat dangerous . . .
First of all, Irving almost always manages to misplace the list somewhere between the front entrance of the supermarket and the first set of shelves. Today, he´s still got the list, so he´s doing well. But so far, I´ve had four phone calls . . . and he hasn´t even left the supermarket (first stop!) yet!
Phone Call #1
Irving: “Um, they don´t have chicken in the fridge anymore. You have to order it at the counter . . . so when you say 4 chicken breasts . . . how many pounds is that?”
Me: “Can´t they count the chicken breasts?”
Irving: “I guess not, they want pounds. Shall I say four?”
Me: “No, get me three, that ought to do it.”
Phone Call #2
Irving: “They don´t have the granola you like, the one with the yogurt chips.”
Me: “Well, is there granola?”
Irving: “Just the kind with raisins and honey.”
Me: “That´s fine, it´s for Dorian and he likes that kind.”
Phone Call #3
Irving: “Dorian wants some yogurt, should I get it for him?”
Me: “Go for it. But he probably won´t eat it, so get a kind you like.”
Irving: “Ok.”
Phone Call #4
Irving: “Where is the cheddar cheese? I can´t find it anywhere.”
Me: “They don´t have it in that store, you have to go to the Bodegona. But you know what, don´t worry about it.”
Irving: “Well, what´s it for?”
Me: “Burritos and the potato salad.”
Irving: “Burritos? Ok, I´ll go to the Bodegona. Cheddar is the orange stuff, right?”
Me: “Sometimes it´s white, just get the one that says queso cheddar on the package.”
Breaking news . . . .
Phone Call #5/6
Irving: “Ok, I´m in the Bodegona . . . they don´t have blocks of cheddar. Only sliced.”
Me: “Are you sure? Did you ask at the deli?”
Irving: “The what?”
Me: “The deli (trying to come up with a more suitable word in Spanish) . . . uh, the counter where they cut meat and stuff.”
Irving: “Oh, yeah. That´s where I went and they gave it to me pre-sliced.”
Me: “Did you ask for it in a block?”
Irving: “No, I´ll go back.”
Me, feeling bad for making him run all over: “No.”
Phone cuts out. I call him back.
Me: “You know what, don´t worry about it, I´ll just use slices. Go ahead and get that.”
Irving: “But I´m already back in line!” (with Dorian wailing in the background) “It´s ok, I´ll just see if they can give me a block.”
Sigh. I think it would have saved a lot of time for both of us if I´d just gone with him.
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3 Responses to “If You Give a Man a Shopping List . . .”
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Very interesting conversations! Pretty time consuming but practice makes perfect so you should get him to do that more!
LOL! That is hilarious. Jeff could find his way out of the jungle with just his internal compass, but send the man to a grocery store, and he’s helpless! Sounds like he and Irving have something in common.
I hope you ended up with something resembling the items you asked for.
Laughing, but not AT you Irving…only at myself, as I am so lost with a list~especially if someone else gave it to me. I usually need an interpreter, which is my 17 year old daughter, who will tell me what it is and where we can find it.
Lol
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted