Kids Say the Darndest Things: Episode 81

Me: “Dominic, why don’t you use the toilet?”
Dominic: “No toilet, diaper!”
Me: “Well, you wouldn’t be such a mess if you pooped in the toilet. What a mess!”
Dominic: “NO!”
Me: “No what?”
Dominic: “No get mad, Mama.”
Dante: “How long does a firefly glow?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Dante: “I think their electricity goes out when they sleep.”
Dante: “Does everyone die when they’re 1000?”
Me: “Years? Most people die before they’re 100.”
Dorian: “What? So we’re the end of the world?!”
Me: “No . . . your grandkids and great grandkids will carry on the world. As people get old and die, new ones are born to replace them.”
Dorian: “So after I die, I come back as a new baby?”
Me: “Um, not that I know of. Some people believe that, though.”
Dorian: “Man, I hate this world!”
Dominic: “Pacha?” (bottle)
Me: “If you have a pacha, you’re going to fall asleep.”
Dominic: “I’m not gonna sleep. Please?”
Five minutes later, he was asleep.
Dominic: “Oh, Mama, look at this bear, he’s so cute! Give him a hug!”
Me: “Um, okay, but he’s kind of dirty.”
Dominic: “He’s cute! Oh . . . he’s ucky.”
We were telling jokes at the table.
Dorian: to Dominic “Tell a joke, Dominic!”
Dominic: “Um . . . Irving is a joker!”
Me: “What are you doing, Dominic?”
Dominic: “Making a mess. Mine blankets. Mine mess.”
Me: “You’re going to clean all those blankets up later, right?”
Dominic: “MINE MESS!”
Dominic: “Awesome! Look, Mama, awesome!” hands me a paper with a scribble on it.

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