Kids Say the Darndest Things: Episode 87

Dante: “I wrote this, Mama.”
Me: “It’s a little hard to read, you need to . . . ”
Dante: “I know, use more spacebars!”
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Me: “Dominic, do you need to go pee?”
Dominic: “No.”
Me: “Do you need to go poo?”
Dominic: “No.”
Me: “Do you need to go rainbows?”
Dominic: laughing “YES!”
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Me: talking to myself, “Hmm, why is there something hard inside this ball of yarn?”
Dorian: “I don’t know! I don’t have any life experience yet!”
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Me: “Do you want to watch a show on my computer?”
Dominic: “Yes. But NO BROTHERS!”
Dorian: “You don’t want us?”
Dominic: “No! You guys . . . . not do ANYTHING!”
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Me: “Good job with the potty, Dominic! You’re really a big boy now.”
Dominic: “Yes. I go up on da bunk bed now!”
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Dante: “You look stoned, Mama.”
Me: “Um, excuse me?”
Dante: “You look like you’re made of stone, not moving.”
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Me: “Do you speak English?”
Dominic: “Yes.”
Me: “Do you speak Spanish?”
Dominic: “Si.”
Me: “Do you speak Arabic?”
Dominic: “Arabic? No.”
Me: “Do you speak Japanese?”
Dominic: “Apanese? No.”
Dorian: “Do you speak Chinese?”
Dominic: “Yes!”
Me: “What do you say in Chinese?!”
Dominic: “Ni hao, Kai-Lan!”
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Dominic: “Mama, look at the sun!”
Me: “That’s not sun. The sun goes away at night, that’s why it’s dark.”
Dominic: “LOOK! SUN!”
Me: “It’s lightning. Remember we talked about that? Lightning in the clouds?”
Dominic: “Mama, what is lightning?”
Me: “It’s electricity in the clouds.”
Dominic: “Mama, what is electricity?”
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Making a cake . . .
Dominic: “Wash your hands! Wash my hands! You can’t do ANYTHING afore you wash your hands.”

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