Views of Birth Order
Posted on June 13, 2008 - Filed Under Simple Life |
Birth order is supposed to be very specific. I´m a firstborn. I´m a bit of a perfectionist like most firstborns and I see a lot of myself in Dorian. But what is really, really funny, is how people relate to my sons depending on birth order.
For example, I send my family photos of the boys on a regular basis. My sisters, who are both younger than me, insist that I focus too much on Dorian and scold me for not taking more pics of Dante, because, as the second child, he´ll feel left out some day. I do try to take an even amount of photos, though.
My dad and sisters, all younger siblings, feel that it´s not very fair for Dante to go to bed earlier than his brother. My mother, on the other hand, praises me for letting the oldest have some alone time. Guess what? She´s a firstborn, too!
It really makes me wonder how much we warp our kids with our own birth order views. Do I give Dorian more responsibility just because he´s the oldest and I feel that older children are more responsible? Am I going to let them grow up in very specific roles because of my position in my own family? Would a mother who is the youngest in her family feel that her littlest child is always being picked on? It´s a weird thing to think about, but one that I´m really trying to work out. I mean, we all make mistakes and there´s no way to be a perfect parent, but one less mistake is always good!
What do you think about this? What is your birth order and how has it affected the way you relate to your children?
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I am the eldest of six siblings. I have one daughter and I think I am treating her the way my parents treated me. Teach independence at an early age, etc. I don’t know how that will change if she has another sibling though.
I think birth order is interesting and it does seem to make a difference and shape us in so many ways. I only have one child, so I haven’t had to deal with issues of fairness, but I’ve always tried to treat my nieces equally and not show favortism.
Your photo comment makes me think back to my childhood. As the youngest of five, I swear, I’ve seen two baby pictures of me. I think my parents were so worn out by the time I came along, they lost the camera